Japanese match making

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A group of experts advising the government on how to boost marriage numbers has said that companies should aid employees hoping to wed by holding events to help them meet potential partners, but it ditched a proposal to create a "marriage-hunting mentor" system in From tech products to movies, the recent advent of crowdfunding has allowed companies and creators to make their dreams a reality.

But year-old Tomoko Takebe has a more personal goal in mind — to find herself a husband.

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Is the couple that watches sports together the couple that going to stay together? Matchmakers place their bets. Deposit your money at a bank in northern Japan and you could get more than interest payments. You might end up getting married. These marriages were arranged more for political or wealth reasons rather than for love and attraction.

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The two people being set-up had no, or little, say in the choosing of their spouse. Things are different today. After World War II, western traditions and romantic notions spread throughout Japan, and more people wanted to rely on true love rather than a financial arrangement. This was a strange notion for Japanese to accept because their view on love, and quite possibly correct, is that it is flimsy and won't last. Love isn't something to build a serious relationship on, and certainly not a marriage.

After all, love fades and doesn't last forever. The arranged marriage, or "omiai" went through small changes before becoming what it is in modern Japan. A Japanese woman I met in Omaha, Nebraska in was a candidate for one of these more traditional "omiai.


Matchmaking in Japan | JapanVisitor Japan Travel Guide

Her parents were concerned about her because she was over the usual age of marriage, 25, and didn't seem to be doing much about finding a spouse. Her mother dressed her in kimono, and a possible match was invited to their home to meet her in a formal atmosphere. She wasn't interested in marrying the man, and went to Omaha to improve her English for career development. The age limit for eligible women has been rising, too.

With the Japanese economy as it is, and more women needed in the work force as the Japanese population descreases, more women focus on having a career. Women in their early thirties have become more acceptable as possible wives. This causes a problem for some Japanese men because, according to matchmaking services, Japanese men want pretty, young women.

The women focus on high salaries and height in choosing a future husband. Modern forms of miai are still practiced in Japan today, although they are no longer as prevalent as they were in the pre-Meiji era. The participants in a miai process include the candidates who are to potentially be married and the families of these candidates. However, miai can take place without any involvement of the prospective couple's families.

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Professional organizations have begun to provide go-between services for inquiring candidates. The second role is as a liaison for the families to avoid direct confrontation and differences in opinions between them by serving as an intermediary for working out the details of the marriage.


Even though miai marriages are not as common as they once were, they still hold a place in popular media. The initiative for the miai introductions often comes from the parents who may feel that their son or daughter is of a marriageable age tekireiki , usually in the range of 22 to 30, but has shown little or no sign of seeking a partner on their own. Other times, the individual may ask friends or acquaintances to introduce potential mates in a similar way.

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Miai signifies that the parties were brought together expressly for the purpose of marriage on the initiative of the parents, a friend of the family or a go-between. It also means that the initial criteria of selection were objective ones. In more selective miai, the candidates and their families are judged on a large set of criteria aimed at determining the suitability and the balance of the marriage.

It includes level of education, income, occupation, physical attractiveness, religion, social standing, and hobbies.

Matchmaking in Japan

This is commonly known as the "Three Hs. The fear is so prevalent that the Eugenic Protection Law of was passed to legalize sterilization and abortion for people with a history of mental defects and other hereditary diseases. Ideally, paired candidates and their families should be of equal social status. For example, a candidate with samurai blood is more likely to be picked than one with ancestry from a different Tokugawa-era class. Vast differences in iegara between the two families would cause embarrassment to the sides whenever they meet. In rural areas a common investigative method is to personally ask about the family of interest by questioning shopkeepers and neighbors: If all criteria are acceptable, the matchmaker arranges an interview for a miai.

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Kagemi occurred when a potential male candidate attempted to catch a glimpse of the female in secret. The objective of the kagemi was to prevent embarrassing denials based on appearances. The introduction is often followed by small talk between the parents. Occasionally, the conversation shifts to one of the potential candidates. Toward the end of the meeting, the potential couple are advised to go off spend some time alone to get better acquainted. If the initial miai introduction is successful, the potential couple goes through a series of dates until a decision is reached.

The most widespread class discriminate is against members of the burakumin.

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