I suffered from shyness and social anxiety for years in my late teens and early twenties. Oh yeah, had some serious depression too. Working on your own shyness will open a whole new social world. Start by conditioning yourself to talk to random strangers, whether men or women. Yep, you can comment on something as mundane as the weather and people will be happy to engage you. No rocket science here. That starts the conversation.
How Can a Shy Adult Get Dates Without Using Online Dating?
Just get the ball rolling by making the observation. This practice will erode your shyness. A lot of shyness just comes from not having enough experience socially. It can also come from avoiding social situations or scenarios, like asking someone out which degrades confidence.
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The more we avoid something we fear the stronger that fear gets. The basic premise behind this idea is related to exposure therapy. You condition yourself in small increments to the thing you fear to overcome that fear. All of these things will help you grow more confident and less shy. This will create the freedom for you to start talking to potential dates without using online dating.
You just have to take it to the next step if you feel the conversation is going well. Ask him or her out for coffee, and keep it casual.
There is something I find quite magical about public speaking in how it can really bring out the BEST in you. I mention my story in my other youtube videos and articles about my struggle with expressing myself growing up around my family, friends, and people. My social anxiety came from some negative childhood memories of my Dad criticizing me and calling me horrible names like stupid which gave me a lot of limiting beliefs about myself.
Verbal criticism can really affect you especially when your young and impressionable. I also want to mention that overcoming social anxiety and building confidence with people is a process that takes time.
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This is why I tend to work with people long term from six weeks up to twelve weeks depending on how serious they are about making huge changes in their social life. When you think about it several weeks is not really long to overcome your fears and become confident with talking to people. Now obviously you have to keep the momentum going after the program is over which is why I offer o going support through email and mu social metopes in Central London which are fantasy, for connecting with like-minded people. I cannot even tell you how beneficial it has been for me having a personal mentor to help support me and push me to the limit with reaching my full potential.
Investing in a good mentor and taking a coaching course is the BEST future investment you can make in order to reach your full potential and live an amazing life.
How to use Exposure Therapy for Overcoming Social Anxiety
I have always found the students that have gotten the best results on my 6-week program are the ones that are really hungry to succeed. What you put in is what you get out which is why I went from being a super shy man to living the life live now and being confident in who I am. Growing up as a young boy I knew in my heart that without confidence I could never fully be happy and do the things I wanted to do.
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This is what drove me to face my fears with speaking to hundreds of women and becoming one of the most established Dating coaches in the world.
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