One woman sought help from Huizenga when her husband turned to a girlfriend after her breast cancer metastasized. Many couples don't survive the betrayal, but power couples like the Edwardses often save their public face and work things out. Some of Huizenga's recent online patients have been "high up" in Washington politics, he said. They wonder how to deal with the mistress or with the cheating spouse. Like Edwards, they worry about their reputations and being exposed, according to Huizenga.
And when a woman has cancer, she has to consider the financial repercussions of leaving the spouse -- and his insurance -- behind. And, as in the Edwards' case, there are sometimes young children to consider. She may submerge a great deal. They have an investment in the political arena as well. But, he said, in all cases it's hard to take the high road in infidelity cases.
And now John Edwards. Both McCain and Gingrich have admitted to the affairs. In Cancer, Illness 'Trumps Everything' "The mental health needs of a marriage aren't paid attention to because the medical illness trumps everything," Nagy said. Acting on Cancer Stress? Parts of Buzzfeed story tying Trump to Cohen lies to Congress wrong. Romney backs Trump in shutdown showdown, questions Pelosi. Man charged in alleged drugs-for-weapons deal with al-Qaeda-linked group. Pelosi cancels trip, accuses White House of security leak. Shutdown hits home for Trump; he lives in government housing.
Candidacies, committees and criticism. Here's the weekly roundup on the field. Democrats marginalizing and ignoring Trump as heats up. Trump staffing up to fend off potential primary challenge. Pence defends wife's teaching job at school that bars gays. DNC alleges it was targeted in phishing attack after midterms. It's a way of escaping from your situation. My inability to be faithful has always been my weakness, so I turned to that.
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Whatever one thinks of what he has done, there is no denying this was his tragedy, too. Before cancer intruded, they had perfect lives. Ray ran his marketing agency; Judith ran a recruitment consultancy. They met and fell in love in , married in and settled in their home city of Amsterdam.
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For four years they were happy enough, until on a sunny day in April , days before their daughter Eva's first birthday, when Judith and Ray were given the news that Judith had breast cancer. We were part of the set of metropolitan thirtysomethings whom I call hip, healthy and wealthy. Life was about holidays, clothes, restaurants and having fun. The prognosis was bleak from the start. We were told the cancer had most likely gone immediately into the blood cells and that there was only a 40 per cent chance of Judith surviving the next five years. When you get to 60 or 70 you have become used to your body losing its beauty gradually for several decades.
This was not the case for Judith. She went in just a few months from being a beautiful, young woman to a cancer patient. The cancer was not yet causing pain, but the affects of chemotherapy and radiotherapy were drastic. Judith lost her hair; her skin appeared sunburnt.
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She was vomiting frequently and lost weight. Six months after being diagnosed, one of her breasts was removed. A woman's breasts are the visual part of her femininity and sexuality.
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One of his justifications was that Judith had lost interest in sex. I'd spend time in bars where casual sex was part of the nightlife. I was trying to escape the cancer at home. I liked the superficiality of these bars - you didn't tell people your problems.
I was hooked on the process, not the people. It made me feel like a man. I couldn't tell you how many there were because they were history the minute I dressed and left. Could it be that with his wife too ill to feed his ego sexually, Ray couldn't resists turning to other women for a cheap thrill?
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But I definitely didn't want Judith to find out, because I knew how much it would hurt her. Perhaps these liaisons might have petered out, but in February , Ray met a woman who was to change everything. Ray met Nathalie, then a year-old marketing manager, through his work. I wanted to phone her all the time and would find excuses to go out to see her, then worry about Judith finding out. I didn't talk about Judith with the others, but I discussed the situation with Nathalie.
At home, for Judith, of course, there was no escape - she had to face the unremitting horror of her condition. She would spend days in bed, desperately ill after intensive chemotherapy. She would cry and be emotional. She needed the unconditional support of her husband, not one who cheated on her when she was at her most vulnerable, but Ray selfishly complains he became like a nurse. It was a very emotional, intense time and I simply had to escape from it. After spending time with Nathalie I felt invigorated. I was more able to face up to what was happening at home. A couple of my friends knew about Nathalie.
They didn't approve, but they could see she gave me stability and that it was better than going to bars having one-night stands. Two months after meeting Nathalie, Judith and Ray were told that the cancer had spread to Judith's liver and that there was no longer any hope. She was going to die. One of the worst things before was not knowing what the future held.
Now she knew she was going to die and she could prepare for it. She began to accept that she was going to die. For me it was just awful, awful news. They went to see a child psychologist to discuss how her mother's death would impact on their daughter, Eva. Ray realised it must be becoming increasingly obvious to his wife that something was going on. He was coming and going from the house at odd times, going out for the evening and turning up in the early hours.
He was starting to have doubts about whether he loved her any more, or whether he simply pitied her. But in the end it was Judith who offered him a way out, if he wanted it. She said they couldn't go on like this and asked Ray if he wanted a divorce. She didn't want to spend the little time she had left with someone who didn't want to be with her.
I told her about the one-night stands, although not about Nathalie because I felt that would just be too painful. But when it sank in it really began to hurt. On the one hand I was her best friend, someone who took care of her, but on the other I was a terrible, terrible husband. How unbearable it must have been for her to watch her husband walk out of the door, knowing he was seeking liaisons with other women - because she had cancer. For a few weeks Ray did not see Nathalie, but his resolve weakened and they were soon together again. Judith's health was deteriorating and by the beginning of May , she was too weak to get out of bed.
We fell in love all over again. I didn't see Nathalie during this period, but I texted her frequently to let her know what was going on. She wasn't worrying about her career, or clothes, or other trivial things - nothing mattered, she had no ego. It was emotional for me, but I was holding it in, keeping it together. Ray told Nathalie he was not ready for a relationship and was taking his daughter to Australia for a couple of months, to grieve properly. But the seperation didn't last, and Ray and Nathalie married in He says he has not promised her fidelity.
Though his conduct has brought opprobrium from many quarters, it has certainly made him rich, thanks to huge sales as people clamoured to read his brutally honest account. And he also claims Judith's family are fully supportive of him and the book. The film rights to Love Life have been sold and Ray is a full-time author. What does he think Eva will make of the book when she reads it? I believe children feel their parents' love is far more important than whether they walk between the lines of what should and shouldn't be done.
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